The party's over
A record skipping
It's the same song repeating
Grows more grating with each passing second...
And the walls contain a resonation, laughter, and conversation.
It was fun while it lasted, but now we should be going.
I hope everybody had a real good time
The hospitality's partaken, my head is flying, my heart's racing to keep up.


I start realizing
all this living is just dying
and if these are my friends, if this is my home,
if this is how I spend my nights, how I communicate, and demonstrate a love of life.
My eyes roll into the back of my head to sleep, if these are the last words that I ever said
I love my friends.

My previous post was clairvoyant.

Seriously...creepy. Who would have thought the Hills would *actually* make me vomit? Here I thought I was just being sarcastic. Maybe I should look into this extreme power of words I have.

I'm actually better now...but Thursday I was sicker than gay porn and I thought my insides were coming out. Yet I couldn't throw up. I took several Phenergans and tried to sleep, but kept waking up sweating every half hour or so. Finally after midnight I felt the eruption coming, so I ran to the bathroom. God it was horrible, but such a relief. Kevin comes in, "god Leesh, it sounds like the Exorcist in here...". But seriously, whatever was making me sick came out with those 10 gallons of vomit, because I felt better after. Weird.

Why do weathermen insist on standing out in the middle of a hurricane to report? Do they think we won't really believe them that there is a hurricane? I just saw Geraldo Rivera take a drink and firemen had to rescue him. Seriously...mandatory evacuation means something. Drowning because you were intentionally standing out in the middle of an almost category 3 hurricane just to report the weather doesn't exactly earn you the medal of valor, so get the hell out of there.

The Hills makes me vomit.

Seriously. Why watch this show? It's stupid and devoid of any intelligent people. All they do is catfight and sit around staring at eachother with weird open mouthed blank expressions until it cuts to commercial. I don't understand.

And what the hell is wrong with that Spencer guy? He looks like an overgrown Cabbage Patch kid with really bad facial hair. Gross.

Little House on the...602

So I feel strangely connected to Laura Ingalls Wilder from Little House on the Prairie. That we should be living in a house made of logs instead of bricks, and I should be driving a covered wagon instead of a Honda and churning out babies left and right from under my many petticoats.

We moved in here without realizing we have no microwave and haven't gotten around to getting one (although instead of sitting on Blogger typing this I guess I could be driving my ass to Target to get one huh?). We also had no washer or dryer, so we bought some used ones of Craigslist. Bad move...the washer filled up with water and then died, proceeding to leak water all over the laundry room and kitchen an hour before people started getting to our house for the party. I found some tubing in the shed to siphon all the water out, so now our laundry room is an appliance graveyard.

Do you know how many times a day I throw some food on a plate and then realize I have no microwave to put it in? I've been reheating everything on the stove, and this morning made oatmeal in a pot. Then I proceeded to go out back and do all our laundry in a huge basin with soap and water and my hands. Seriously...doing that much laundry by hand and getting it clean took over an hour. Wringing all of it out was worse. Now we have clothes all over the yard strung on my makeshift clothesline.

I'd make such a badass pioneer wife. Only knowing me, I'd probably die of dysentery.

Champagne, grits, and watermelon

I was standing in line at Fry's buying some milk. The woman in front of me had a cart full of Hamburger Helper, cookies, soda, juice, cereal, mac and cheese, and other not so healthy items. She pulled out her Quest card (food stamps debit card) and swiped it in the card machine. I wasn't paying too much attention when the woman behind me shook her head and said "and my tax money is going to trash like that who doesn't even feed her kids properly with free money."

I didn't even know what to say. Her comment floored me, and I was surprised since the area I live in is probably mostly low-income people who need assistance. I rarely see people in that store pay with cash or debit card. I got mad. I turned around and said "at least she is buying them food. she could sell her food stamps allowance for drugs and not even feed her kids."

Her response? "Food stamps aren't meant for treats for kids. If you're going to be on food stamps, you should be required to take a cooking class on how to prepare meals properly for your family."

What the heck?

So, we're punishing kids as well? "Sorry kid, you don't get to have any chips or ice cream, because your mommy is a louse and living off the dole. Life's tough. I know you're only 8, but pick up a paper route if you want a cupcake."

Well that's nice.

Cooking classes- Great idea! When mom gets off from her second job, she can swing by and spend another hour a week away from her kids.

Have you really looked at groceries these days? Let me go to my pantry of junk (yes, I eat junk sometimes... my diet consists mostly of fruit, yogurt, and cheese, but I sometimes eat Spaghettios. They're freakin' delicious okay?)

Okay, here we go!
One can of Lightning McQueen Spaghettios claiming to have "A full serving of vegetables" in it. Score! A full serving of veggies for 79 cents!
A box of Kellogg's Disney Princess fruit snacks- 100% DV vitamin C, 80 calories, fat free. So... that's healthy, right? I mean, it says "made with real fruit."
A box of Quaker Chewy granola bars... "Made with whole grain oats" and "heart healthy"
A box of Barnum animal crackers (the ones in the little train box... a moment of weakness never actually consumed)- A good source of calcium
A bag of Quaker rice cakes- "Low sodium" "A healthy snack"
A box of Kix*- Whole grain, kid-tested, mother-approved. No added colors, flavors, or preservatives, good course of fiber
Kraft Singles- "With calci-3, 3 essential bone-building nutrients, calicium-Vit D-Phosphorus"
White bread- "Kids love it! Calcium added!"

I've taken the words off the front of the boxes. I added nothing that it didn't say, except of course the ""


Now let me look in our fruit bowl

Apples. Grapes. Peaches. Bananas. Nectarines. Oranges. Huh... none of them say... anything.
Veggies will, of course.
Broccoli, spinach, tomatoes, an avocado that has probably met its match, cantaloupe. Um... they say nothing, either.

Cheddar! It will say something! It's better than American, after all... oh wait. It says... Sharp Cheddar. WTF? And the wheat bread. Uh, it doesn't say anything either.

So, lady, which is healthier? Which food sold itself?

You talk about cooking and nutrition classes, well there it is. THERE is your nutrition class. Provided by my pantry, courtesy of Frys and Trader Joes. All the crap sold itself quite well, letting me know how healthy it is. The fruit and veggies kinda sat there. They didn't really inspire confidence.

Now, lemme see... I also have whole grain pasta, which costs a whopping 2.79 a box. Compared to ramen noodles, which can feed a family of six for less than a dollar. And I have Dreyer's whole fruit popsicles, which I think are six for about 3 bucks. I also have that flavor ice crap (I do love the green ones) that I bought a 24 back of for $1.79.

And cereal! Cereal! The asterisk by the Kix was to tell you that I bought a box of Kix last week because I love it and, well, it was buy one/get one free. What else was buy one/get one free at the time? Rice Crispies, Cap'n Crunch, Trix, Fruity Pebbles, Coco Puffs, and those Reese cup things. What was NOT buy one/get one? Plain Cheerios. Multi-grain Cheerios. Raisin Bran. So if I've got 3 kids and 4 bucks, which will feed them for longer?

Poor nutrition is a side-effect of poverty. It can't be prevented because processed crap is so abundant, so cheap, and so cleverly labeled. One kid can eat white bread with bologna for next to free, while another eats a whole grain pita and organic low sodium turkey. The second ate way better, but they both ended up with full bellies. Sometimes, that's all that matters.

Of course, I wish everyone fed their children with healthy, wholesome choices. I wish everyone KNEW that apple juice has nowhere near the nutrients of an actual apple. But Motts sure will work to convince you otherwise. They've even got parents believing that they can't water down their own juice and have to buy pre-watered juice with added vit c (of which a normal kid gets 10000% DVI). Processed food sells because they sell it. They market it, advertise it, lie about it, rape it, infuse it, strip it, build it, package it, and then give you the second one free. Healthy food sits there, hoping you've done your research and know that it's the better choice. It's plain, whole, natural, boring, sometimes kinda ugly, never on sale, and about 4 times as much. And if I have to feed a family of five with $400, even if I KNOW better (and chances are I probably don't), I'm gonna fill their bellies. Because unless you've had a hungry child, you have no right to judge how a mama fills him. He got fed. He might have gone to bed on a dinner of macaroni and cheese, but he went to bed not being hungry. I'd rather feed my kid three meals of crap and hope for the best than spend my entire food budget on one nutritionally sound meal and ignore his pleas for "just one more, mama."

Public assistance is intended to help people survive, not thrive. I'd rather kids not live in a 30 story walk-up with busted out windows, no AC, and no playground... but public housing is what it is. I'd rather kids have access to non-traditional medical avenues, but Medicaid is what it is. I'd rather WIC encourage breast feeding than fall slave to the formula makers, but WIC is what it is. And yes, I'd rather food stamps provide realistic options for healthy eating, but they don't. And with everyone going "MY money, MY money" it never will. Because you want us to spend YOUR money on healthy food, but I can't bet you're not willing to give us MORE of YOUR money to accomplish that. You're already complaining about the slim pickings we get, heaven help us if we got treated like real people on hard times instead of the low-life thiefs that we obviously are.

Food stamps should go to feed a family. How a mother feeds that family is up to her to decide. It's her money now.